This post is about 1 year overdue. Sorry folks.
RVhoneymoon dropped off the face of the earth last year after about 2 weeks into our RVhoneymoon for no apparent reason and I’m sorry I just left y’all hanging. I started to write a post a few times but could never find the right words.
That was melodramatic, sorry.
Anyway to make a long story short. Mark and I found out I was pregnant literally 3 mins before we jumped into the RV to start our road trip. The RV was packed, the car was hitched up, the RV was running and sitting in the middle of the street just waiting for us to jump into it. I had gone to the store that morning for toilet paper (or something equally as stupid) and something in my mind told me to grab some pregnancy tests. For a little refresher, Mark and I had been married for 48 days by the time we finally left for our RVhoneymoon. I was maybe like 2 days late but something told me to just do it. So I peed on one of those bad boys and it turns out, my spidey senses are spot on!
Fast forward to 2 weeks later and Mark and I find ourselves in the emergency room at some hospital in Connecticut being told by a doctor at 1 am that I’m probably in the middle of having a miscarriage. I was bleeding and cramping but there was still a faint heartbeat. The exact words were “threatened miscarriage.” We drove the 10 hours home early the next morning and went to my doctor in Ohio after an excruciating wait over the weekend to check for any baby growth. Unfortunately there was no growth, no more heartbeat and no baby.
Mark and I were devastated. I felt like a failure. Having babies is supposed to be the thing that women do and my body had just decided “nah, don’t want to.” I just kept asking myself how could things have gone so wrong so fast? A week ago I had finally started to believe that my dream of being a mom was coming true and that a little mini-me was going to be ours in February 2015, and now here I was at Akron City Hospital facing my worst nightmare.
Why am I writing this now (other than it’s a year overdue and in order to start blogging on here again, I needed to at least acknowledge the sudden disappearance last summer)? Because 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and yet, no one talks about. No one knows what to say to someone going through one, but everyone knows someone who has had one. A friend’s mom, an aunt, an in-law, another friend’s mom, an old coworker, a friend of a friend. They say miscarriages that occur that early are usually due to a chromosomal mismatch or something else that ultimately doesn’t allow the cells to form into a viable baby. They say there was nothing I could have done differently. They say it shouldn’t effect my chances to have a successful pregnancy in the future. But who really knows? Of course I blamed myself. I could have eaten healthier, I could have stayed more hydrated, I could have taken longer walks, I could have slept on my left side, I could have known earlier I was pregnant and hadn’t drank that glass of wine weeks ago with dinner. It just sucked.
P.S. I thought I could finish writing this post without crying. Turns out, I was wrong. It still stings and I still wonder if that baby was a he or she. I wonder what his/her personality would have been. I wonder a lot of things and I still mourn that baby all of the time. I think I probably always will.
Obviously the last thing I wanted to do was get back into the RV and travel around. The second to last thing I wanted to do was write some half-ass blog post about why the RVhoneymoon had stopped so abruptly. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. So I just let this blog shrivel into nothing. It took us awhile to get back into a “normal life.” We took the RV out again for a mini road trip in the fall when the Ebola scare was in full force. [You Can Read About That Here]. But I still wasn’t ready to jump back on here and write about what had happened.
Fast forward again to present day and in some “we’ve come full circle” universe, Mark and I are back in the RV on our BABYMOON! That’s right, we’re expecting our baby girl August 2015! Mark has been encouraging me to get back into blogging on here but I just wasn’t feeling it. The fact that I still hadn’t acknowledge our disappearance last summer loomed in front of me and I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to resurrect this blog.
We were packing up the RV this morning and our neighbor, Mark from CampgroundViews.com, came up to Mark (yes they are both Mark, yes that made that sentence a little confusing) and told him that he had been following RVhoneymoon and always wondered what had happened to us. I guess that was the kick I needed to finally spend 20 minutes trying to remember my WordPress username and password. Turns out that was a wasted 20 mins as I had to reset the password once I logged in anyway. Even WordPress was concerned with my disappearance!
So here we are, almost one year since our original RVhoneymoon started. We’re a little older, a little wiser, a little heavier (pregnancy will do that to you) but just as eager to spend some time on the road! We plan to do a little Southeast loop of the USA and visit Asheville, NC; Charleston, SC; Savannah, GA; St. Augustine, FL; Destin, FL; New Orleans, LA and Nashville, TN. So you can follow along again if you want!